Your baby is born ready to communicate with you. His movements may look random, but every action your baby makes has meaning. He'll tell you what he needs, and reveal his likes and dislikes through his behaviors.
While understanding your newborn may seem overwhelming at first, you'll start to read your baby's signals in no time at all. Watch how he reacts to being undressed, talked to, held and fed. You'll soon start to understand the experiences he enjoys, and those he doesn't.
Your baby may turn away, squirm or fuss to show you that he doesn't like something. On the other hand, if something appeals to him, he may show this by looking at it intently, and being still and quiet.
Don't forget, your baby is learning about you too! He's watching your movements and facial expressions, and picking up on the tone of voice you use. It's a two-way learning process.
What are the benefits of understanding my newborn?
Learning to read your newborn's cues can help you both. Here’s how:
It helps him relax. If you respond to your baby's signals quickly, he'll feel reassured, soothed and cared for.
It helps you to learn what responses he prefers. By watching your baby you'll get to know his individual pace, and whether he prefers slow, gentle handling or a brisker approach.
It helps your baby build trust in the people looking after him, and he'll find the predictability of his daily routine reassuring and comforting.
It teaches him about emotions. By observing your baby, you'll learn how he shows his emotions. Encourage him by matching your own facial expressions to your feelings, so he can learn to do the same.
It helps you feel more confident as a parent!
How can I tell what mood my newborn's in?
You can learn a lot about your baby's mood by how he responds to sights, sounds and touch. You'll probably notice that his behaviour falls into one of six different states at any given time:
Deep sleep. Your baby's eyes will be closed and still. His breathing will be regular and he may make the occasional startle.
Light sleep. This is also known as rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Your baby's eyes will be closed, but they may open briefly. He may move, startle and make the occasional sucking motion.
Drowsy. This is your baby's semi-dozing state. He's not fully asleep, but he's nearly there. His eyes open now and then, and his movements are smooth.
Alert. Your baby's eyes will be open. His attention will be focused and he'll be still.
Active and alert. Your baby will be bright-eyed. He'll move around and may make brief, fussy cries and startles.
Crying. Your baby will cry hard in this state. He may squirm around and be difficult to soothe.
You may notice that your baby can't do some things while in a certain state. For example, he may not feed well if he's in a light sleep. Or he may not want to play when he's crying.
You'll soon recognise these patterns and be able to respond to your baby's behaviours. You may learn that you need to rouse your baby a little before a feed. Or that he needs to be in an alert state before he starts playing happily. As you begin to understand your baby's wants and needs, you'll quickly become an expert in understanding and reacting to his mood.
How do I know if my newborn wants something?
Does he want to be fed?
Your baby is likely to make a particular sound or cry when he's hungry. If so, you'll soon learn to identify it. He may also suck on his hands, fingers or fists.
You may notice your baby turning his head strongly to one side while opening his mouth. This is called rooting.
Does he need to sleep?
Your newborn will probably fuss or cry when he needs to sleep. He may stare with glazed eyes before drifting off, or he may suddenly look quite pale. Other signs to look out for include a lack of interest in playing and not responding to you or what's happening around him.
Is he bored or lonely?
While your newborn will be interested in playing with you from birth, he doesn't need constant entertainment. He'll tell you when he's ready to play by becoming calm and alert, and looking at you with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.
If you notice him trying to find things to look at, this may be a sign that he's feeling bored or lonely. He may open his mouth into an "oo" shape or make noises as if to call you.
In the first few weeks, the best toy for your baby is your face and voice. Try holding him about a foot away and sticking out your tongue. He may copy you! Give him plenty of time to respond before you change your expression. It may take him a while to work out what to do.
Does he have wind?
If your baby has wind, he may cry, fuss or seem agitated. He may screw up his face as though he's in pain, pull his knees up to his stomach or kick his legs.
Is a wet or soiled nappy making him uncomfortable?
Your baby may not mind having a wet or soiled nappy, but some babies really don't like it. If this is the case with your baby, he'll probably let you know by crying or being restless. He may also have more subtle ways of telling you such as becoming pale or red in the face, looking away or losing interest in playing.
Is he too hot or too cold?
You can check your baby's temperature by feeling the back of his neck. Look at his skin colour, too. If it's mottled with patches of red and blue, it may mean his body's trying to adjust to the right temperature.
Your baby needs to wear enough clothes to feel warm, but not hot. Dress him in layers. If he becomes too hot you can remove a layer. If he is too cold, simply add one.
Is he overstimulated?
Some babies are easily overwhelmed, and can only cope with short bursts of play. Your baby may show you he's had enough stimulation by sneezing, yawning, looking pale or very red, or looking away. He may seem drowsy or start to fuss, cry, or push you away.
While your baby was born with the ability to self-soothe, he may still find it hard to settle down when he's overwhelmed. When he was curled up in your womb (uterus), he probably found it easy to suck his hands or fingers and soothe himself to sleep. But after he's born it may not be as easy for him to reach them!
By watching your baby's movements, you can tell if he likes to put his fist, hand or fingers near or into his mouth. You can also try holding him calmly in your arms or over your shoulder. Or put him down in a quiet place with your hand resting gently on his belly.
You'll learn if he likes to lie in a particular way, or if it helps him to look at something. Once you know what works for him, you can help him to develop his natural self-soothing techniques.
How can I tell what sort of personality my newborn will have?
All babies have their own characteristics. You'll soon be able to tell if your baby has a personality like yours, your partner's or perhaps another relative. He may even develop a personality that's completely unique to him!
You may find that your baby is relaxed about being handled, and copes well with change. He may manage to self-soothe, not be troubled much by wind, and seem to take things as they come.
On the other hand, your baby may fuss and cry a lot, startle easily, and find being handled rather overwhelming. In this case, he'll benefit from a calm, gentle approach, and not too much stimulation at any one time.
Try not to worry if you expected your baby to have a certain personality, but he seems to be the opposite. You'll soon learn to understand each other and what sort of approach he enjoys most.
My baby never seems to stop crying. What should I do?
If you find it difficult to hear your baby cry, you aren't alone. Most parents find it hard. But crying is simply your baby's main means of communicating. Responding to your baby is the best way to help him relax.
Babies tend to cry more between the ages of three weeks and 12 weeks, usually in the late afternoon or early evening. While this is a normal, developmental phase, most parents worry about this end-of-day crying. But try to see it as a period of letting off steam. One study showed that babies who fussed a lot in the evenings usually slept better afterwards.
You may find that a good approach is to run through the following basics just once, then pause. So, change your baby's nappy, give him a cuddle and burp him, and check that he's not hungry or in pain. Then put him down for about five minutes. You can attend to him if he's still fussing, but put him down again afterwards. Bear in mind this pattern may go on for quite a while, but some mums find it helpful to follow this routine.
If your baby cries for more than three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks , then this may be classed as excessive crying. It's often referred to as colic and it can be stressful for you and your partner. Your baby may benefit from gentle, slow handling. And you may find he's more relaxed if you put him down with your hand on his belly, rather than holding him. Talk to your doctor or child health nurse if you feel like your baby is crying too much or if this interferes with his feeding. She may be able to rule out any other causes for the crying.
It can be hard to keep calm when your baby cries. You may find it helpful to get support from friends or family, if possible. But reminding yourself that your newborn's behaviour is normal may help you feel less anxious. Most babies cry less after about three months.
Source: www.babycenter.com.au
